Ways to keep shit out the water.

This is for humorous purposes and should not be taken seriously. We do not condone or encourage any kind of behavior that may lead to pollution or contamination of water sources.)

Greetings, fellow earthlings!

Today, we're going to talk about a very important topic - shit in the water. Yes, you read that right. We're going to delve into the delicate topic of poop floating around in our beloved water sources.

Now, some of you may be wondering, "why is this even a topic of discussion?" Well, let us enlighten you. You see, humans have this strange habit of expelling waste from their bodies. And while there are proper ways of disposing of said waste, not everyone seems to follow them.

We've all heard horror stories of people using bodies of water as their personal toilets. Whether it's a lake, a river, or even the ocean, some individuals seem to have no qualms about defecating in them.

And let's not forget about the countless households that flush their waste down the toilet, only to have it end up in our water treatment systems. While these systems are designed to remove harmful bacteria and pollutants, they can only do so much.

So what happens when there's shit in the water? Well, for starters, it can lead to the spread of diseases and illnesses. And nobody wants that, right?

But fear not, dear readers. There are ways to prevent shit from contaminating our water sources. For one, we can all do our part in properly disposing of our waste. That means using designated toilets, and not peeing in the sink. Ill tell you 5 or so ways to help keep shit n stuff n trash out of our water supply.

 #1, don't pop in your pool. You may think that peeing in the pool is no big deal, but it's actually gross and can contribute to the spread of germs. The walls of the pool can only take so much, and if your pool is in the ground its not a pool It’s a small lake and you should refer to #3  And for the love of all that is holy, do not poop in your pool. Not only is it unsanitary, but it can also attract wildlife that can contaminate the water. If you find poop in your pool always make an effort to remove it before sundown. Teenage children can become very sick skinny dipping an smashing turds between themselves and the walls of your watery late- night love nest. Teenagers can be as revengeful as a Clinton and sneaky like a BamaFibber especially when pinned between a turd n the wall.

#2 don't flush weird stuff down the toilet. The toilet is not a trash can. It isn’t made for tampons and condoms. Tampons are your pipes worst enemy and the more saturated with thick fecal blood the longer they can stay attached to the inside of your pipes. In the winter months they can freeze and expand to create a bloody explosion of ice and red water.. red water I like it when the red water flows. Condoms can get hung up on small burrs inside the pipes as well and begin acting as a rubber stopper that becomes stretched to the point of explosion and damage will occur. Leaking red water or plumbing pipe fractures and condimninated pipe joints are damaged in many surburban neighborhoods- it’s a fact! You may end up with sewage in your water supply.

 #3. Do not let your dog poop in the water supply. Cats seem to already know right from wrong but dogs can be stupid. Stupid dogs may love to swim in lakes and rivers, but they also love to poop in them, if you are not careful, that poop can end up in the water supply, so if you are taking your pooch for a swim, make sure you bring a bag to clean up after them, even if it means swimming behind them in the lake or pool. It also behooves me to warn against flushing kitty litter down the sink especially the one in the kitchen. Aside from your new girlfriend giving some other dudes baby a bath in your kitchen sink, kitty litter is only meant to be used as a training tool before our young furry friends learn to use the toilet like the rest of us. If your cat is sexually active remind it to Not flush its condomnated rubbers down the toilet as described in #2.

 #4. Don't litter. Trash can end up in our water supply, especially if it's left outside, where it can be blown around by the wind or carried away by rainwater. In amerika the poor people do not sweep the roads like they do in all other countries, as they are too sick from pollution to go outside. So in an act of continual kindness remember that dual exhaust exiting both sides of your vehicle can help to blow trash out of the roadside, but it will still most likely end up in the water somehow. It's bad enough when trains derail and we bury the spilt toxic chemicals under the ashes of the wooden railroad ties. Why do we let those evil corporations use so much toxic green spray paint atop the smoking dirt hills. Everybody knows its dirt they piled up real high instead of taking it somewhere else.  So remember, be sure to dispose of your trash properly and keep your neighborhood clean.

 #5. Don't let the aliens use the water supply. OK, this one may be a bit far fetched, but you never know. If aliens come to Earth and want to use our water supply, just say no. Who knows what kind of weird juice they expel.

Keep your chin up and wave at the balloons,  all balloons are made in china, so is our trash, and the pool.. Its all gonna be over soon!