KINGS OF THE SUBURBS

WHERE DOES IT COME FROM

My friends call me Timmy K, my teachers called me Timothy, my Wife calls me Mr or sometimes sweet meat. Whatever you decide to call me,  you should know what I am and what I am about. I believe that the events we are a part of along with the way our lives become after these events have a large impact upon what kind of person we become, and until we are old enough to begin to avoid the negative events, I think its ok to believe that whatever went down was really not our fault.  So, as it was with me on my supposed birthday.  

On the day I was born my mother, for reasons beyond my control, gave me up for adoption.  After nine months of maternal bonding inside her womb and all the comfort feelings and voices that I associated with the person who was to be my mom, when I came into the real world, they were no longer there. I can only wish I might have had a brief time to hear her voice as I entered the world.  The world is full of smart people with opinions about what happened next, and most of them now believe that when infants aren't able to smell, hear, taste, or see the person they just finished nine long months of becoming with, our little brain has its very first What The Fuck moment. Fight or flight hormones override the normal growth hormones and baby feels scared lost and alone.  For three weeks and then forever that feeling of lost and alone will persist.  So, when the wise old fucker says, "Don't ever forget where you came from", us adoptees either consciously or not, remember a shitty start.  I tell this story not for pity, but as an excuse for any part of me you might not be comfortable with.  "Why does this guy think like this, why the chip on his shoulder?"  I could respond with my own super annoying questions like- " Do you have any history of _____ in your family?  Why don't you look like your sister?  What are your family values?  What famous people are in your lineage? What are your parents like?  Are your grandparents still alive? and of course- Why are you so shitty on your Birthday."

On the surface I'm a funny somewhat carefree kind of guy.  I love people, people love me, I work hard, and seem to be getting along fine in the world.  But inside, deep down, its dark as fuck and full of anger and the need for revenge at something only my subconscious remembers.  Perhaps in a way this website or blog, is my way of moving beyond the polished act of really giving a fuck.  Remember this is my world and my opinion.  If you're at a loss for words, in disbelief, offended, upset, or laughing leave a comment, or better yet, see the donation page.  By giving me money, you can help make time in my life. time for personal reflection, time off the grind of life, and more time to create content. If you know of any adoptees out there send them a link.  The sooner they can begin to deal with Infant Adoptive Trauma, the sooner they will make better choices. There should be an x in the corner of your screen, remember it's the way out!

The first underground bunker